The Gallery - It's all about Me

Yet again Tara at StickyFingers has set us another one of her challenges - this time it's a self portrait type thingy.

Now I am one of those people who loves taking photo's but hate having my photo taken. 

So initially, I thought, I know, I will go down the arty road and do this....

But then I saw a message on twitter between Tara and Porridgebrain, where Tara was very sternly telling Porridge, absolutely no photo's of feet. So I'm not going to get away with that then!

Then I thought I could do some clever photo magic

(I'm in the dress and my daughter, Lola is the stripy one)

But I suspect I won't get away with that, as I think she wants something more recent

OK you've got me - this was in the 90's, pre-babies, so something more recent then...

My three year old took this over the weekend (with a little help from hubby) whilst my eldest makes mischief. Now, this is me. 

Cigarettes and Bedtime Stories

I was holding my 3 year old's hand whilst she was going off to sleep after bath and bedtime story the other night and I thought, 'oh I know, I will go and have a cigarette after this'.

It's been 4 years 5 months and 13 days since I gave up smoking. Not that I'm counting or anything.

My thoughts then went like this;

oh but I do miss it

It would be lovely having 5 minutes outside looking at the stars

I miss the conversations with my husband about constellations (I know, we're sad)

I could just have the one every night 

As a treat

Oh but then I would want another one

When could I have another one?

It would help me lose weight.

Would I have one in the morning once I've dropped the girls off?

In the car?

But then I would want another

Probably at lunchtime

By then I would be addicted again

I would waste valuable time thinking about when I am going to have my next cigarette

I would get annoyed with the kids for keeping me from them

The cigarettes would be my number one priority

I would get irritable at work

In meetings

When we are in restaurants as a family

Shopping with friends

I would be irritable.

Then I would want to give up 

Again

Because I couldn't I would smoke more

And start hating my lack of will power

And myself

Then I would start thinking every little ache or pain

Is cancer

Because I smoked so much.

I hated being so reliant on something.

I don't want a cigarette anymore.

I look at my sleeping child and know the most important thing to me is being there for her as she grow's up.

The Gallery - Red

Tara over at StickyFingers has suggested we do a colour this week, so here is my go at this.

Red is the colour of fire, of sunset, of passion and desire.

In our house Red is also the colour of fun

This is our see-saw (or part of it) and it is something my girls share and can only do together. 

They love it.  

Our Veg Patch

We have finally, after at least a couple of years of talking about it, built a tiny vegetable patch at the bottom of the garden. It's not big it's not pretty, but it made my daughters day.

I am not sure it is sunny enough but fingers crossed, with a following wind and some of the compost from the composter we planted potatoes, garlic and red onions today. I plan courgettes in pots again as they were a great success last year - and they look really pretty and tomatoes in a growbag as normal. But where can I put the carrots? 

We also planted this today.

This is a bird cherry tree. Apparently the blossom smells of sticky almonds (yum). 

Progress reports on both the veg patch and the tree to follow. I bet you can't wait! It's thrilling stuff.

What is it about getting older and starting to see the appeal in gardening? I wouldn't go as far as saying I  enjoy it but I do take pride in the end results.

Wordless Wednesday - Girls Night In

21 Grumps and this B***ch ain't One

I have been reading a lot of other blogs today. Monday appears to be the day to get things off your chest and have a bit of a rant. So, I have decided, purely for cathartic purposes to make a list of all the things that REALLY annoy me.

This is what I look like when thinking about all of the below

1. People not using their indicators
2. People sitting in the middle lane of the motorway (I do quite a bit of driving)
3. A lack of consideration for others
4. Litterbugs
5. Mummy's who use pushchairs as a weapon - I have a pushchair and I am not afraid to use it - UGH..It gives the rest of us considerate Mummy's a bad name.
6. Women who pretend they are completely incapable of anything practical when there is a man around. 
7. Women whose personality changes in the presence of men - what is that all about??
8. Women who use there children as an excuse. (I think there is a whole blog in this one so I am going to leave that one there)
9. Celebrity magazines
10. All red top so called newspapers, I've looked but I am buggered if I can find any news in them.
11. People who judge you based on how you look, your gender, your colour etc...
12. The BNP - wrong wrong and yet again wrong
13. People who can't express joy - for example, after watching a film 'well it could have been better if...'
14. People who are only interested in material things..better than the Jones. I don't give a flying F**k about the Jones.
15. People who can't be bothered to recycle ...I mean come on, it's not even difficult any more. (Back to the lack of consideration thing)
16. The annoying message that comes up every time I log on because I changed a programme and didn't delete a bit of it and now because the programme isn't there I can't delete it and it won't let me download the programme because it thinks that it is still there because of this bit..AND I WON'T rebuild my computer again...AAAAAAH
17. Office politics
18. My lack of will power when it comes to food. I think I used all my will power up when I gave up fags
19. My mobile phone which, to be frank, has been shit since the day I got it... But Orange won't replace it..and I am too knackered to argue.
20. The IT at work...I could spend days ranting about that!
21. Wasps - they serve no purpose except to annoy and hurt us. And because of Karma I can't kill them - Damn it. 

Gosh I feel better. Another 21 next Monday I think. You should try it...

Conversations with my husband

My husband and I were having our usual chat in the car on the trip back from Shrewsbury to Birmingham, after visiting my parents for Sunday lunch.

It is one of those times when our eldest puts her iPod on and our little one goes to sleep. So it's a chance for us to have an 'adult' conversation.

Today's conversation was about my hair and then went from there. I have recently stopped bleaching my hair blonde, so I now have a grey and brown/black kinda crew cut type thing going on. So I have gone from this - 

To this - 

Please allow for the fact I have make up on in one picture and none in the other....!

Now the odd thing is, when I bleached my hair white blonde (anybody call it yellow and you will get a slap), people said things like - 'Oh that looks nice' - Nobody really commented on the 40 something lady with the girly blonde mohican, (Not to my face, anyway).

However, when I had all the blonde cut out, I am suddenly the cause of much conversation and consternation;

'Oh, what colour are you going to go now?'

'Are you going to grow it?'

'Do you like the grey?'

The thing is I kinda do. I like it short - when its long I just tie it back, short it is easy to manage, and can look smart and funky (in my humble opinion). I like the grey, particularly the really white bit at the front. It suits my skin tone. I am not saying I won't go back to blonde, but right now au naturel is liberating.

The conversation with my husband went like this:

'Isn't it odd how the expectation is that I should dye my hair, but no one suggests it to you' Me.

'No, but it's getting that way, with manly moisturiser with mannish names like Bullet' Him

Giggling..'Machine gun exfoliater leaves your skin, in an extremely high testosterone state' Me

'Ready for fighting and killing things in a manly way' Him

Gaffaw 'Try Bullet moisturiser, it makes you more of a man!' Me

'Bullet pillow freshener helps you sleep even in combat mode' Him....And so on...

So much for; A, 'adult' conversation  and B, a big philosophical and deep debate about men and women's role in society today having to conform to stereotypical  norms.

Snowdrops and Kisses

When I write I write for myself. I don't do this for anyone else. 

When I write, I write to get the words out, there are too many in my head.

When I write, I can't promise I will write about something nice.

When I write, it's like when I talk, free flowing, with no logical end.

When I write, I think about what I am writing about, and nothing else.

That's nice.

When I write, it is to make my mind not think of other things.

When I write, I can think of snowdrops and kisses.

When  I write, I don't have to think about the washing or the cleaning or the dirty cat bowl or the cob web on the kitchen window or the basket or ironing or the work I go to or the people I look after.

I don't have to think.

When I write. 

That's nice.