What a difference a Year makes

Last year, about this time, I was full of good intentions.

Two cups of coffee a day, weight loss, exercise, write a novel and some other stuff. Now traditionally I review my good intentions and go GAH! #Fail and generally get down on myself about how little I have achieved.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't achieved much of any of that.

I spent the first half of the year feeling really tired and quite low. I made efforts to sort out my mental health but the tiredness was still there. I put it down to working full time, being a Mum of a 4 year old and 8 year old and my lack of exercise.

Then in August I went for a Health Check-up paid for by work. There were no massive surprises, I wasn't surprised to hear I was overweight but I was pleased that my heart, my cholesterol and my posture were all OK.

There was just anomalies with my blood. They tested it twice. My white blood count was way too high. I think, I realised it was serious when the Doctor at the clinic phoned my GP to make an appointment for me.

Then everything moved really quickly. My GP had my blood re-tested and told me we were in a 'free fall situation' he was the first one to mention the possibility of cancer he sent me to the Haematology Day Ward. He didn't tell me it was the Haematology & Oncology Ward.

Long story short and after a bone marrow biopsy I was diagnosed with Chronic Myloid Leukaemia 

This kind of thing changes your perspective on things.

I don't have new year resolutions this year. I have new life resolutions.

5 years ago, in this country, I would have been having traditional chemo-therapy. My quality of life would have been poor and my prognosis would not have been good.

I am on a clinical trial drug, the side effects are minimal (like the disease, they make me tired, and I get headaches) and my prognosis is excellent. I am extremely lucky. Blood Cancer medication has come on leaps and bounds in the last few years.

I can't deny that it has messed with my head. I struggle with it at times, with the unfairness of it (even though I have no illness that I can see or touch) but I am also aware that there is no reason for me not to see my children grow up, hopefully, they will never see me go into the accelerated or blast stages of the illness where hope is limited.

So what are my new life resolutions?

1. Stay alive
2. Stay healthy
3. Exercise
4. Be happy

If I can get those 4 sorted, surely everything else will just follow naturally...And I will always have this...